September is Suicide Awareness Month.
While some refer to it as Suicide Prevention Month, I prefer to be open and say that suicide cannot always be prevented as we would like to. This topic may not seem directly related to early childhood, but there are important pieces along the way of a person’s life that can contribute to how they eventually experience and cope with life.
When we think about suicide, we often picture someone who is sad, depressed, lonely, withdrawn, or struggling on the outside. While these individuals can certainly be affected, we often overlook the people who appear to have it all together; the ones who smile, laugh, make plans with you, show up for others, and continue moving through life as though everything is okay.
We seem to be more puzzled by these stories. Why?
Why do we assume that someone who appears to “have it going” for themselves must also be happy within themselves? Why do we believe that because someone is functioning, successful, or social, they must not be struggling? The truth is, everyone is different.
Same world, different lens.
We all enter this world as little souls with different experiences, strengths, and challenges. Some people are given heavier loads to carry. Some are given wounds they spend years trying to understand and unpack. Some are given tools that allow them to help others. And some spend much of their lives simply trying to figure out how to carry what they have been given. No matter what our lives look like from the outside, most of us are carrying something.
The difference often lies in the tools we have, the mindset we develop, the support that surrounds us, the experiences we have endured, and sometimes factors that go deeper than can be seen or understood from the outside.
This is why mental health and suicide awareness matters.
It needs to be talked about more openly, without shame or taboo. It requires us to listen without comparing experiences. It means resisting the urge to remind someone of all the things they already know they have to live for. Sometimes, people do not need another list of reasons to stay. Sometimes, they need someone willing to sit with them in the heaviness, whether it lasts a week, a month, 6 months, or beyond.
Suicidal thoughts can go beyond the simple idea of wanting to leave the world. For some, it can feel like an unbearable heaviness in the chest, the shoulders, the mind, and the entire body. It can feel like exhaustion that sleep does not fix and pain that is difficult to put into words.
We cannot always know who is struggling. So check on the person who always checks on everyone else. Ask the friend who always says they are fine. Make space for the person who seems to have everything together. And most importantly, listen without judgment. It is not the time to introduce your “If I were yous…”
Awareness is not about assuming we can save everyone. It is about creating a world where people feel safer saying, “I’m not okay,” and where those words are met with understanding, and not dismissed.
Sometimes, being willing to have an uncomfortable conversation can be the beginning of someone feeling less alone. Sometimes sharing your own story can be healing, sometimes staying makes the difference, and sometimes just listening can change the day for someone.
Suicide Awareness Disclaimer:This post discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts, and emotional distress. It is intended to encourage awareness and open conversation. This does not replace professional mental health care. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide or feels unable to stay safe, please seek immediate support from a mental health professional, emergency service, or crisis resources. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.
Daniela Coppola